Sunday, June 3, 2012

Why I'm always about blessings Part 1

Hello everyone!  This is the first installment of a very emotional event that happened two years ago on June 6, 2010.  This event changed my life and actually brought me closer to God and helped me focus on the really important things.  I hope my story inspires you all to look for the blessings in your life and to let go and let God guide your path.
Blessings!

Part 1
In our mundane lives we tend to focus on the life changing events and forget the little blessings.  Weddings, births, graduations, serious illnesses, first job, new job, layoffs, retirements, moving, funerals and so on.  We very often define ourselves by these events.  Sometimes, we judge ourselves and others by what type of life changing events have happened to them.  If they are predictable events we buy the correct card or gift, smile or console, but do we dissect and look deep within ourselves to extract life lessons.  Some people look at the events in their lives and see life happening to them.  Some people look at the events in their lives and actively try to control the direction of their lives.  And then there are those people who completely hand control over to a higher power and try to simply walk in faith.  I'm trying to be the latter person.  I've basically accepted the fact that control is an illusion.  This is a life lesson that was very painfully brought to my attention when my then 10 month old son was seriously burned and my life was flipped upside down.

On June 6, 2010 after church, my family met up with some friends that go to church with us at a local coffee shop.  We had been doing this for years and I had always enjoyed our Sunday chats.  Even though I don't drink coffee, I would catch up with my lady friends and the hubby would talk cars and sports and it was fun.  Some of the people in this group have known me since I was in elementary school.  I had babysat their children, they had been in my wedding, and my parents are their youngest son's Godparents. This was another typical day of pushing chairs around small tables and catching up with each other until the moment my baby boy grabbed an unattended mug of hot water, met to be made into tea.  That moment still defines me now.  I still have nightmares of the blood curdling screams emitted from my son.  Dear Jesus, please no!  Not my baby.

I could tell you that I was calm and helpful, but I would surely burn in hell for that lie.  In the emergency room I was a mess.  My husband on the other hand was wonderful.  He did everything right.  He went into this frame of mind that allowed him to give firm directions and it allowed him to take advice without question.  You see our first blessing during this tragic event was that an old friend with us is a Registered Nurse.  She demanded our son to be submerged into cold water and had my hubby strip our son and dunk him.  Later I would find out that this one thing limited the burn from becoming full 3rd degree burns and reduced the overall burns by about 20 percent. 

The moment that really made we fall apart was when my hubby laid our screaming son on the examination table.  He had our son's burned chest pressed to his chest and when he placed him on the examination table our son's skin was no longer on his chest, but on my husband's shirt.  This was the moment I lost my mind.  This was the moment I realized that this wasn't a minor accident and the realization caused me to become a puddle on the floor.  The hospital had to call a crisis counselor just to deal with me and my hubby had to deal with insurance and all the important questions you need to answer during an emergency.  In my moment of weakness I did blame my husband.  He was with him while I stood in line to get him coffee so in my irrational mind and emotional turmoil I lashed out.  I'm not proud of my actions, but the pain was so overwhelming.  All I wanted to do was hold my baby and take the pain away.  And so, began the first day of our new reality. 

8 comments:

  1. This is so sad Jen, I'm looking forward to part 2. It's wonderful that you are turning a very tragic event into a learning experience that brought you closer to God!

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    1. Thank you and part 2 is coming soon.

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  2. My sweet JenJen,

    I know this feeling all too well. This entry cry for you as well as cry for the young mother I was. My son's burns were not as severe, I don't think, but I understand on a visceral level this sense of panic, pain and turmoil. OMG, I nearly lost my mind so I can feel what you were going through. I am anxiously awaiting part 2 but please know that being a mom and having had something like this happen, doesn't shield you from others moments like this but it makes you better able to withstand them. Your strength increases as does your faith. I've had my fair share of these . . . in fact, this post brought all of these memories flooding back to me . . . but in all, I know that God is good. He is with me just as He is with you.

    Stay blessed. Thank you for sharing such a touching, personal story.

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  3. Thank you for your kind words. This experience changed me so much and with the two year anniversary in a couple of days I just had to share. I hope you are feeling better soon.

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  4. Wow. This is truly emotionally deep stuff Jen. Let me be real with you, if it were me, i don't know if I'd have done any better. Seeing his skin literally COME OFF!! Thank you for using your experience to bless us. Waiting semi-patiently for the part two.

    Blessings!

    DatFunkyFro

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    1. Yes I know this is deep stuff. I'm working on part 2.

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  5. Jen, this was hard to read, I could not imagine experiencing this. The blessing is God will never put more on us than we can bear. I was moved to tears(which is common for me...very emotional) when reading it. What a testimony! Continue to share this if you can. It is proof that God can and will bring us through! Thanks for sharing!

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    1. This was a very emotional experience and I still choke up and cry from time to time.

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